Sister, Sister (Luna and Lily)

[Dice]

Everyone loved the rising of the sun and the setting of it. It was often a favorite pastime for many people. A commonality that has vibrated inside the chest of many, touching the soul. It was often the subject of art throughout history. For Lily it was something she loved to watch and paint since she saw colors beyond the gentle pinks and oranges that rolled along the gentle tones of the sky. Seeing the world through a lens was a unique way to view the world. While she had never not been able to view the world through the eyes of others, she remembered asking her siblings about the color of the breeze. Learning after that they couldn’t see what she saw.

Maybe that is why she was good at using her words, because she had always viewed the world differently than her siblings. Hence why she was staring at the rising sun in that moment, as the breeze brushed along her face. She noticed lately the wind just danced around her as she spent these moments alone. Once the sky went from the early morning oranges that have speckles of browns and blues that laced above between the yellow red beams of light, She pulled her gaze over her shoulder looking back at Luna sleeping on the ground. 

She moved over to start a fire, placing the sew that she had prepared the night before over the blaze to warm it. She reached over and booped Luna's nose, “I know you don’t want to wake but you need to eat.” The chuckle left her lips knowing that Luna would most likely bat her hand away, that didn’t stop her from booping on her nose over and over again to wake her though. After a moment she looked at the flames watching them lick at the pot. She was quiet for a long moment, After all Luna had been forced into a marriage with a human male recently and it made her wonder if Mama was gonna force her into the same.

“How are you handling the whole being married?” Lily asked her sister as her gaze moved over to her. She was more than sure no one had asked her how she was feeling. Not that Luna ever needed to hold her tongue. Yet she had come to see that while Luna was tough and vocal, there was a difference with how she talked to the others versus how she talked to Lily. Her dark gaze stayed upon her sister waiting for her to speak. “Want me to take him out for you.” She joked with a wink knowing she couldn’t but wanted to comfort her sister.

[Spade - Council]

The setting sun. It was an unsettling experience for Luna. Would the moon be full? Would there be a New Moon? Would the wolf king attack tonight? The never-ending questions attacked Luna's mind every sunset. Even in her sleep. Disrupting the one moment she was at some sort of peace. The setting sun meant she had to wake up. It meant as Zeta she would stress herself out about every wolf in the world. Even beyond her reach because that's just how she was.

Her teeth lightly caught Lily's finger as she booped her snoot. She muttered to herself. After setting her sisters finger free. Grumbling about being forced to wake. But with a huff she did. Forcing herself up. The first thing she always feels is that ache. That ache from the scar on her back. She huffed and groaned. Stretching. Stiffening at her question. How was she handling this? It was a great question and honestly ever since the forced marriage, she hadn't had the chance to process it well enough. 

They'd been moving ever since the marriage which meant she wasn't handling it all. 

She was just suppressing her emotions. Treating this matrimony like a business. Trying not to think about certain things. Like what happens when this is wild hunt is all over and she was still very much married. Or when Devon inevitably finds out she's a wolf. The Zeta on top of that. And the one whose image was truly on the wanted image for the wolf king they hunted. 

Did she share all of this?

No.

It was too much to share having just woken. 

So to answer her sister's question she merely clicked her tongue and tilted her head. Shaking it eventually.

"Yes"

She locked eyes with Lily in a moment of seriousness. But it didn't last long as she sat and huffed. Staring into the flames under the kettle. "No." She leaned her elbow on her knee and her cheek in her hand. Closing her eyes as she growled in frustration. She knew Lily was joking. But it was hard for her to joke back about this when she hadn't even been really handling it. 

"He's proven to be a good man. At least we don't have to worry about the past repeating itself in that regard." 

[Dice]

As Luna caught her finger she didn’t fight it, As it wasn’t hard enough to cause concern. Knowing her sister would never hurt her on purpose. So the moment she was freed she pulled her hand back and moved to get a bowl of food for herself and her sister. She watched her sister grumble and huff. Mentally she was sad because Luna used to be different. Yet she would never not love her sister. She wanted to always be by Luna's side.

Knowing her sister well enough to know not to push more than asking the question. She watched the cogs turn in her mind as she took a long sip of the stew. Quiet and watching. Watching as she always did. The colors that swirled along the emotions of her sister's face. It always caused her heart to ache. Her face was soft, staring at the strong woman in front of her.

Once she got an answer their eyes locked, the fake answer, the wall before it came falling down with the real answer. “Well at least you are being honest. Mixed emotions are okay to have.” She said softly as she shifted to stare at the fire and watched the swirls of oranges, yellows, reds and amber dance together.  “Do you want to stay married?” She asked as she moved the stick to poke it. “If mama would allow you to dissolve the marriage would you? Or has the human gained your affection?”

She let her dark gaze drift back to her sister knowing that she herself had secrets from Luna and their family. Her eyes went back to the fire to think of Hawk even though she knew she shouldn't. She wondered when the wind was going to take her back to him. She was mad he left that night after bringing her back hurt. When it was all an accident. “If he wasn’t a good man we would have eaten him by now.” She said with an easy laugh as she poked at the fire.

[Spade - Council]

Silence filled the tent and sat on their shoulders from the weight of it. Luna just sat there a while staring at the half-eaten food in her bowl. Swishing the remains from side to side. A million thoughts swirling around her head and a million words left unsaid. Dancing at the tip of her tongue which remained trapped behind her clenched teeth. She put her bowl down before she did something she'd regret later. 

Lily was joking. She knew that of course but she despised herself for letting herself become so associated with violence. Anger, sure, but most Lupines are angry and known to be angry. Anger however doesn't always equate to violence. Unless of course, you have Luna's luck. Which was bad. She gave her sister a tight insincere smile as she brushed her hands off on her thighs. If her conversations throughout the rest of the day were all like this she'd snap, because no one realised violence for her was only a trauma response. Or that the topic of her being violent was a small trigger that was mentioned enough to add up and chip away at the shield she'd built against it. 

One day it would be one too many and Luna wasn't ready to break and lose herself to Spade again. 

It was bad enough she had to live with the name. Taking its reputation and building something she could be proud of. Using it to protect those she cared about and those who had no one else. Though it was all at her own expense. She really didn't know how to reply to Lily or where to take the conversation so she found it best to just get up and leave. Not to be rude but clearing her head with some fresh air would certainly help. She was stopped short by one of her pack members just she was about to make it out of the tent. 

She had thought it was perfect timing. Someone needing her before her sister could speak another word or say she's coming with her. However when she heard the message the wolf had she froze and went numb. Her face paling the more she heard. It wasn't until a gentle touch landed on her shoulder that she was thrown from this terrifying trance she was caught in. Instantly, pulling away harshly with an animalistic growl as she showed off her fangs. Only to realise it was just Lily. 

Touch was another trauma response. 

She was trying so hard to get past that though. Especially since most of her siblings were physical and she could see the emotional pain she caused them every time they hesitated to reach for her or every time she defensively pulled away. That silence fell on them again as Luna dismissed the messenger as the weight of the quiet brought her head down. She rubbed her face and groaned into her hands. 

"They're not all dead." 

It was all she said at first as she came to stand beside Lily and peered out at her pack and the rogues camping together in peace. 

"My ex-mate's pack. They're not all dead and their new alpha... Is the one that broke your nose."

[Dice]

Was it too much? Was she pushing too hard? Was she being a nuisance? These all crossed her mind, and yet Lily knew that she was trying to reach a part in Luna that she didn’t want to see disappear fully. She knew Luna had to miss being her carefree loving self. Events had turned her into a cold being who was fighting a war inside of herself. She didn’t reach out for help, and it was hard for Lily to see her this way. Not being able to eloquently pull her out of a dark place was bothersome to the young wolf.

Watching her react to her touch in an animalistic way caused Lily to pull her hand back and place it on her bowl once again. Trying not to show any reaction, after all she expected the reaction. Thanks to the trauma she had been placed through. Raising another spoonful to her mouth as she ate it and watched her sister fight with what words were going to leave her mouth next. Confusion crossed her face for a moment before she understood.

Swallowing the lump of food before placing her half eaten bowl next to Luna’s. Peering over the Pack and Rogues. “And do you know where they are?” She asked simply as she moved to raise and stand beside her sister. The peace that was happening in camp at that moment was nice but now with this new information she wondered what Luna's true intentions were now.

“Are we going to pay them a visit?” She finally asked before turning her gaze to her sister. She wondered if her sister could see the scar on her nose. If it was fueling some part of her rage deep down.

[Spade - Council]

The hardest part of being trapped in the dark is that when someone lets the light in to save you, you close your eyes to the pain of light. 

Luna knew. She knew Lily was searching in the dark for her sister. Reaching for her hoping she would reach right back and take her hand. Let her guide her back into the light she was forsaken from. But Luna was, for now, comfortable here. In the dark, she could operate at her own will and move more freely. In the dark, she didn't have to answer for certain things she did most wouldn't approve of. In the dark, she couldn't see the violent truths she did in the light. She was hidden here.

She was free. 

But she really wasn't. Free of expectations and formative rules. Burdened by fear of all those close to her terrified of if she'd snap again, how soon and how bad it may be this time. No one realising that despite her trauma response to the certain things they did she was overall fine. A snap like when she was deemed Spade wasn't as easy as they feared. Even when Luna was angry or handled something violently. Which were farther and fewer between than everyone assumed. 

Even now as she planned out what to do this leftover who hurt her little sister she wasn't near a snap. Angry and ready to rip him to shreds? Of course but this was normal for Luna. A snap would involve failing to keep control of herself and losing her sense of when to stop and who was innocent. The burning in her eyes said it all though. And anyone looking would see that blazing rage everyone feared. 

"No."

It took her far too long to finally respond. "I'm going to find him." It was clear in her tone of voice there was no changing her mind. "And I'm going to kill him so slowly he'll regret he was ever alive, to begin with." She didn't look at Lily. She couldn't. Instead, she marched forth. Giving the pack a list of commands to keep things running smoothly while she was gone.  

[Dice]

The thing they all knew as, Lily would never stop reaching out to her sister in the dark. No matter how many times she slapped away that outreached hand. She would always be there. Holding her hand out to her. Waiting. Yet she knew that she would have to come back to the light on her own in the end. So she would just smile from a far and be the little light that was allowed to peak in. She knew her sister would do the same for her, if the roles were reversed. Though none of them would let her not be the light.

The quiet always seemed to hang around recently, Lily could feel the wind blowing to comfort her in those moments causing the flicks of her hair to dance around to graze along her cheeks. She stared towards Luna with questioning eyes waiting for her to answer on what they were going to do. When her response finally came she tilted her head for a moment. Why were they all here if…

“You are not.” She said as she sat up more to lean towards her sister. “You are not going alone.” She tried to reach out to make Luna look at her. Yet she was moving away from her causing her to get on her feet and follow behind in suit. As she gave orders to the Pack she frowned. “Moonpie.” she said softly as she looked down. “Please don’t go alone.” She begged her sister. “Just in case, for me?”

[Spade - Council]

Alone.

That request rattled around Luna's mind on end. She sneered and her already tight jaw twitched. There was only one person who had the right to ask her such a thing. And they had just asked. For years Lily struggled on her own. With no gypsies, or wolves or anyone to help. Just The Wind. The thought of Lilypad out in the world alone for Luna's mistakes made her heartache. Worsening when she thought of how their reunion was one of pain since they were prisoners of her ex-mates pack. 

She should've never come back.

But in the end, Lily was stronger for it. Different? Wiser? In fact, Luna couldn't put her finger on it but Lily seemed to harbor darkness from those dark times deep in the back of her gaze. Maybe she was good at hiding it... Or maybe Luna didn't want to accept it was there. She'd only blame herself more anyway. She huffed and closed her eyes. Her body slowly unclenched as her breath released. She glared over her shoulder at her sister. Her eyes flicked down toward the soft scar on her nose. She clicked her tongue and then waved her hand dismissively as she began to walk away. This was her way of agreeing to Lily's request, however, which by now Lily would know its meaning. 

Luna wanted to leave right that very second and be back before noon. But in truth heading there unprepared as she was, wasn't advisable. She knew it but her anger and want for revenge were calling her to action. She took some time to pack and set her affairs in order so things would run smoothly while she was gone. And she made sure to inform Devon and his rogues as well since she was trying to be more communicative with them. This all took under half an hour and soon enough she was ready to go.

"You don't want me to go alone. Fine..."

She launched an extra bag she had packed at Lily. "Then you're coming with me." She didn't give her a choice or chance to argue. Honestly, if Lily decided she didn't want to go it wouldn't stop Luna from still going... She'd just grab someone else with a harsh frustrated growl and physically drag them along. "But I am killing him and if you try and stop I will make you do it!" 

[Dice]

Watching her sister get lost in her thoughts was not an uncommon site for her. She always just sat quietly and watched her unless she had something to say. She wasn’t as bubbly as she had once been before being taken by her ex-mates pack. They had been through the ringer together but she also wouldn’t have wanted Luna to go through everything alone. She rather be there on the worst of days with Luna then the best of days without her. She just wished she could make Luna understand no of it was her fault in the end. Yet she was so stubborn that she would never believe her.

As Luna glared at her she kept her eyes locked with hers, unlike others who would look away from her immediately. They had both changed since that day, there was no denying that. But they would always be sisters. Seeing her sister wave her hand dismissively let her breath out a sigh of relief before folding her hands together. She felt better knowing that her sister would be going alone. Moving back to check on those around handing out the plates of breakfast. Moving to settle back in the shade as she stared at the trees thinking of Hawk for a moment.

Though being lost in her thoughts were only brief as the bag was launched at her. Lily reflexes helped her catch it. A brow raised at her sister when she heard her words a gentle smirk crossed her lips. “So you want me to be the one to go with you so if we get caught I can talk our way out of it.” She teased her sister as she slung the bag on, linking her arm with her sisters and started to walk with her letting Luna guide but showing she wasn’t going to fight her in being the one to join her.

“I won’t stop you but know if you hesitate I will step in and finish it for us both.” She said in a dark voice, keeping her gaze in the distance. “After all he deserves it.” The once kind giving everyone the benefit of doubt Gypsy wasn’t there at that moment. She knew what it meant if she did such an act but in the end she didn’t care when it came to this one person.

[Spade - Council]

Physical contact was a trigger. Or at least it used to be. Luna was... Getting better with it. Becoming familiar with as she once was. And yet still it felt so foreign to her when the innocence and warmth of certain touches from certain people crawled across her skin. Lily's voice helped pull Luna away from this weird feeling she was experiencing. But her words didn't. When Luna fully registered them. For the first time since Lily found her way back to the pack, Luna was seeing that darkness. The one she hoped wasn't there but feared that it was. 

And so, she slipped her arm out of Lily's. Holding her for a second as she stared down at that physical contact. "I don't hesitate." she let her go and kept walking. She didn't mean her words as a good thing. Sometimes a second thought or hesitation was needed. But so often in her life, she couldn't afford those moments. Or else someone she loves dies. She would do what she needed to keep the people she loved alive. Even if they didn't love her back. Even if they hated her in the end. At least they were alive to hate. Love. And so forth. 

Luna walked silently. Moreso focused on following the vague direction she was given. And following her sense of smell. But being honest it had been so long since she'd seen anyone from this pack alive that the only scent she could fully remember from them was that of their blood. And so, a flash banged through her mind. Like a chaotic bat rattling around a cage. Yet, rather than let herself succumb to her dark memories she sighed them away. "You never did share what you happened during the years you were away from the pack when The Wind saved you." she glanced over her shoulder at her. 

"Mm... But I guess none of us ever told you what happened while you were gone."

[Dice]

✧ Sister, sister ✧

Did Lily consider herself an anchor for her sister and everything they had all been through? No she just considered herself being a good sister, she would do what she needed to, to keep their family together the best she could. The Twins would be the hardest to keep together, a future of uncertainty laid out for them all. One thing she was sure of was that she would be there for any of them as long as they wished for it. They were all different even Lily had been touched by darkness, something she knew they all tried to shield her from.

When Luna pulled herself from Lily’s hold she felt a gentle frown touch her lips at her words. “I know.” She said with a sigh as she started to follow her again, once she pulled away from her. She had so many feelings lately when it came to everything that had happened. She just tried to not let it touch her face or let Luna see her affected, she didn’t need Luna taking on the weight of her sins. She didn’t want to lose anyone else they loved either. Her mind drifted to Hawk, was he even alive? She wondered to herself. It had been so long since they last saw each other.

Lily, walking in silence with her sister, was lost in her own thoughts of what Hawk was doing in that moment. If he had found another and wouldn’t return back to her. Her words yanked her out of her sad daydreaming state, with wind twisting in the ends of her hair as Luna mentioned the wind saving her. She gave a huff for a moment on what parts to tell Moonpie, and what to keep to herself in her time away. She had been to more than one place, had to heal her relationship with the wind, with herself. She had to find herself. What to tell. “A lot happened. Highlight of it all was the brief moment I made Vega Sanguine's friend uncomfortable by just showing up and being my erratic self.”

Lily laughed slightly remembering how he stiffened up when she took in his scent. “Sanguines don’t seem to be a fan of touch from what I can tell.” She mumbled the last part even though that part of her journey ended with too much blood shed. Should she mention all of that to Luna? She opened up her mouth to go on about everything when Luna spoke of her not being told of what happened while she was away. “Tell me what happened while I was gone. I feel that needs to be shared so I can understand what happened.” Her voice expressed she didn’t plan on letting this go now that Luna had started to open that can of worms.

[Spade - Council]

All those dark cold nights where The Wind's cool breeze just feels like a slap in the face. But ever since she lost The Wind that's how it felt to her. Taunting and teasing and reminding Spade of all she had. All she has sacrificed and no one knew. Everyone assumed that the queen and king's eldest daughter with all her impulsive and temperamental ways had surely done something wrong to become forsaken. Even now. All these years later, as she walked with Lily. It welcomed her sister but shunned her. 

And yet, it somehow didn't bother her.

Not anymore because admittedly it took much getting used to. Learning to be tethered to the ground when you once knew the sky so fondly was like becoming a baby once more and learning the basics of this life. Spade wore her tether well. Better than any forsaken before her and maybe even better than those who have yet to lose The Wind. This heaviness. This permanent gravity she learned to wield came with some advantages, if only to her. It allowed her the freedom to do anything and everything to free herself and her family from her ex-mate's pack. By any means necessary.

And so, when the moon set so did Luna. While Spade came rising from the dog pile of bodies with ascending Sun. Except the moon rose once more, Luna didn't come with it, and the sun never set with Spade. "No." Spade said sternly as if there would be no negotiations on the matter when asked to share what Lily had missed. Lily saw the birth of Spade. Saw her snap. She saw the burning rage in her golden eyes. No one could stop her. 

And soon everyone's screams just blended. 

So it didn't even matter if they were family begging her to come back to her senses or the enemy pack begging for their lives. What led to that beyond what Lily already knew is something Spade couldn't talk about. Because if she did she'd snap again. And truth be told their siblings who experienced it with her were both traumized and scared. So it remained in the dark. 

"I asked you first." Spade intertwined her hands behind her back and looked toward where she was walking. She looked calm. Then again she always looked calm nowadays with only flashes of faint emotions expressing across her face before fading back to her phlegmatic state. She hardly lost her temper... Unless with Devon due to their... Unique... Predicament, nowadays, she often handled things quite civil compared to her teenage self or when Spade was first born. But there were moments.  Moments where civility failed. 

And in those moments, Spade never hesitated. 

"Do you know why the world coined me Spade?" 

[Dice]

✧ Sister, sister ✧

With a dramatic sigh and a roll of her eyes, Lily uttered, "Why must you exhibit such stubbornness, Moonpie? I am present to offer my support. I possess an intense desire to comprehend and address everything as it stands currently. I do not intend to coerce you into becoming something you are not able to be. My sole aim is to grasp and unravel the events that took place during my absence." The haunted gaze that now obscured the once animated expression on Luna's visage caused a pang in Lily's heart.


"Nevertheless, I surmise that conversing may not always be the most effective approach. Progressing forward... progressing forward could prove to be a beneficial strategy." Lily recollected fragments of memories, yet her recollection of that particular evening felt shrouded in mist. When she attempted to delve into the swirls of blue and gray where her memories were housed, a barrier of wind impeded her progress, striving to deter her from fully confronting the darkness of that fateful night. Perhaps it would be wise to simply acknowledge the present and cease delving into inquiries. To fulfill her role as a source of support for Luna, to strive to anchor her and prevent her from losing herself completely.


Lily's thoughts perpetually raced ahead of her speech, meticulously formulating the words that needed to be articulated for clarity. She comprehended the impact of words and their potential to alter the world upon being spoken. Perchance that was why Lily maintained a quiet demeanor, prompting others to wonder when she would interject once more. However, with her family, she engaged in more dialogue, adamantly avoiding the possibility of prolonged silence.


The burden on her mind remained unrelenting when it concerned her family. The urge to safeguard her siblings constantly weighed on her. "No, why were you christened with the moniker Spade by the world?" It served as a minor strategy to encourage her sister to converse and prevent her from isolating herself entirely.