Adventuring through twisted time.
"And so, suddenly I felt the wind. As subtle as it was it was also beautiful. Peaceful. All-encompassing, and it made sense suddenly without a shadow of a doubt why our people love the wind so. It made me feel included like my family were really mine like they were yours. Like I wasn't broken.
Then it stopped and I was forced to come crashing back to this new reality you left me in.
And so all at once, I realised I was all alone..."
"...still standing in the same spot you left me with no hope left to give anymore."
"How are you feeling?" Luna gave a slight nod as an answer and mama took that to mean okay. She came into Luna's tent and sat across from her. "Look at me." Mama forwarded her brow and blew an audible puff of air from her nose when she didn't. She rose and closed the space between them. She reached to take Luna's face in her hands but hesitated as Luna flinched. The look on Mama's face showing how her heart ached for her daughter. "Dean doesn't know."
"Dean doesn't know a lot of things. Just like everyone else around here." Luna's frustration got the better of her but Mama caught her before she could leave and getaway. Cupping her face as she had initially wanted to. Eventually hugging Luna in a long loving embrace that wasn't reciprocated.
"Can he feel your pain through your link?" Luna shook her head no when Mama, at last, let her go. Luna opened her mouth and took a breath a courageous confession playing at the tip of her tongue but with the shake of her head and the change of her mind it was gone. Pulling away from Mama completely she went to leave the tent.
"I may not be a wolf-like you but I know you can't keep it all locked up forever. Eventually, all that pain, fear, anger and resentment will burn through you and hurt him because you didn't trust him." Luna froze out of respect to hear her mother out. Turning her ear from over her shoulder but never looking at her or fully turning to face her. Eventually, she turned away fully. Lifting the flap her tent and staring out at some void in the distance.
"Do you have secrets Ma?"
"Things you've never told me?"
"Never told Xander? Theo? Artemis?"
Never told Elias, Alexios or even Dad?"
"Because you feared we'd hate you?"
"You feared we'd look at you differently and so you find yourself paranoid that you're losing our love and admiration."
"You find that we don't trust you because we choose to not believe your words and understand your actions. Just take what we see and accept what the world says and let that mold our disappointment, fear and hate for you."
"And then, Mama the queen of the Gypsies. My mother isn't the pure and perfect example of a Gypsy anymore. No. Instead, you're windless, lost and feared by the people who you've put your all into. People who were the only ones to ever show you, love. People who should still love you, but no. It's clear they fear you more."
Slowly, she turned to face Mama. Starting right into her eyes with such pain. "That's me, mom. Dean doesn't know my secrets as you do. So he doesn't hate me. Fear me. Love me. And so with him, I'm free for now." She wiped her rare tears and snarled faintly before heading out. Disappearing from her caravan before anyone could even process she was amongst them.
The sun had come and gone. Luna from her quiet hilltop far from her caravan could see the faint glow of their bound fire. Hear their distant song carried on a breeze she couldn't feel. A bitter reminder that warranted a hiss from her. She clenched up hearing those dreaded footsteps long before their scent was in range. She growled.
She refused to look their way or even turn her ear to as the approached. Fearful whomever they were would notice her tears. She cursed under her breath as she wiped her face. To wipe her tears away yes but to express her frustration. A moments peace for someone like Spade was being alone by her own power. Because with everything else in her life being out of her control that wasn't.
She froze when they grew close, stilling completely and holding her breath out of instinct. Letting them place their hand on her shoulder. So she could attack.
And so, without warning she attacked. Not recognising their scent. Not knowing their touch or anything about them. She flipped them onto their back. Kicked them in the head before she could process who she was kicking.
She stepped back immediately when it registered with a wild gaze burning in her eyes.
The sun set. The wind shifted. The Gypsies lite the giant fire. For tonight was one of mourning. They didn’t know the Gypsy they had lost personal but he was close to the kings and Mama. So they honored that. Luca hadn’t been seen all day. Not by mama or even Astrid who he made a point to see consistently after their journey into the desert of the lost. This loss brought up all pains. Regrets he thought he faced in the deserts. Yet of course, you can’t have closure if you are unforgiven.
“She still hold hatred towards me.”
The king broke his trans as he spoke sensing as mama approached him. He gently glanced over his shoulder at her. Turning back as tears stained his eyes. “If could change anything about my life it would be that…” Mama frowned. Taking and heavily burdened breath. “I’m going to have this same conversation with her in the future I fear. I fan feel the pain of it.” The silence between was burdensome. For the two of them that was new and unwelcomed. “I… I have to go and fix this.”
Mama didn’t argue. Thinking as she watched Luca compose himself. The daze in his. He wasn’t fully focused. He hadn’t truly thought this all through.
“How will you convince the wind?”
Luca stopped dead in his tracks.
“By force if I have to.”
“Then in the future I shall wait.”
With her words came a smile. Maybe this relationship with the Valkyrie Queen was a good thing. “You should say goodbye to her first…” mama didn’t mean to sound ominous. Her words making her frown suddenly. Luca turned on his heels to face his mother and sighed faintly. He wiped her tears and hugged her. Finally after a moment he left. Heading to Astrid first before confronting the wind.
The tumultuous wind rampaged through Mama's tent. Everyone around froze. Normally for others this might have caused a panic to see their Queen tent being rocked so violently. But for the Gypsies, while it was peculiar being that it was the wind they had nothing to fear. As everything steadied Mama dropped her arms. Waiting for the dust to settle. She let out a faint and sad chuckle when at last it had. Her still tear stained eyes staring right at him.
“Do I want to know how you convinced the wind?”
Luca’s eyes slowly opened to his mother’s voice. He looked up at her. “No. Most certainly not.” He rose and approached her once again wiping her tears.” My fear was right. Luna just left.” Luna frowned upon hearing this. “Hurt people, hurt people.” A statement more to himself than Mama. With a sigh he went to leave. But mama stopped him. “You should change first. The caravan is going to question where you’ve been as it is. You shouldn’t give them a hint.”
Naturally most would have listened. And with Luna being Alpha, any other wolf would be forced to. But Luca was different. Still he approached. His voice catching at the back of his throat when he tried to speak. And so, as he touched and was promptly flipped and kicked in he suddenly found himself on his back contemplating his life. He heard his sister curse but remained on the floor a moment. He sensed when she was no longer near him. Taking a deep breath as he forced himself up. He found her sitting back in the same spot she started in. Her back to him as she watched their family from this far distance.The wind dancing the music up at them.
Cautiously he sat beside her. Watching with her for a while with no words. He rolled his lips together. “Are you as still running?” he looked at the side of her face because she refused to look at him. He shook his head and clicked his tongue. Taking a audible breath. He studied their surroundings. “Does Dean know?” he gestured his head towards her bike. Immediately he knew he had made a mistake. Watching as she growled and stormed off. He jumped as she hurtled something at him from her side saddle. Looking down he saw the frozen water she had thrown and pressed it against where she had kicked him. “Thanks…” The shame in his voice showed he made a mistake.
"I messed up. All I want to do is know we’re okay? And fix where we’re not.”
The growl that ripped through her throat was unnatural. Even for a wolf. Laced in anger. Violent. She hesitated at her bike. Her body was just moving on its own. Muscle memory she wished she could fight. Regrettably taking a frozen water bottle she had stored for herself out of her side saddle. Her skin crawled. Her anger burned on the way down as she swallowed it. She had never felt so disrespected as she watched him wonder what the context of the bottle was. She grit her teeth together and crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned on her bike.
I could drive away right now. Leave and the world would never know. Or care.
She took a calming breath at her thoughts strictly through her nose alone. But her attempt to douse the flame flaring inside her was thwarted as soon as she heard him speak again.
And so, her whole soul lit up turning to a fireball, burning a hole in her chest; flames licking at her charring heart.
“Are we okay?! ARE WE OKAY!?!” she wasn’t one to hold her anger. Or her tongue. Yet in this instance for some odd reason she tried. She took a deep breath and held it. Tightened her jaw. She rose her hand to support her words as she often spoke with her hands. But instead she curled her fingers into a fist. Maybe, in this instance she knew she would hurt him?
Maybe, she was exactly what the Gypsies had said she was?
Maybe, her late husband was the better of the two of them to have survived?
Maybe none of these questions that swirled through her mind were true?
Maybe, all of them were?
Or maybe Dean was good for her?
She panted in the moment really holding on to the last of her fading self-control. This mate link to Dean all but helping because she put so much effort into blocking him from this feeling of pain and anger that she was slowly losing control of everything. She let out a short but loaded holler that ended in a growl. “We haven’t been okay since you left me here without a clue of everything that would be coming for me because of you. How fucking dare you come and start asking about my husband and my life! You don’t get to the do that. Not after leaving me with this life!!” for one split second she nearly hoped on her bike and drove off. But instead she clicked her tongue. She was angry and impulsive sure but she wasn’t foolish or senseless. She knew there was a reason he had risked coming back. Risked letting the wind bring him here with no clear guaranteed way back.
It was times like this she wished she didn’t care as much as she did.
It was times like this no one noticed that it was love translated into care.
She let out a sigh that hurt because yet again she was swallowing her anger. Stiffly, she sat beside him. Straightening her back and refusing to look his way. Everything about her was tight. “you…” she winced as she spoke through her teeth because she was really trying to be civil but it hurt more than she expected or wanted it to. “…you came back for closure between us.”
It was a statement because why else would he be here? “Where do you want to start because my choice is not to talk at all and just walk away. Some people aren’t compatible. Even if they’re twins.”
The way in which she responded to him made him frown. It wasn't her verbal response but her physical one. He caused it. He slowly huffed suddenly angry with himself. A feeling he hadn't felt in years. He clicked his tongue after rolling his lips together. Having a hard time looking to her because he could see her anger. Even without looking at her could he hear in her voice mixed with the pain of restraining herself.
He sat there silently staring down at the faint flickering fire from their people down below. Tempted to close his eyes and enjoy the breeze. Except, he was worried that would hurt Luna. Even though she wouldn't admit it. Turning to her and reaching for her hand he found himself hesitating. Not because he feared she'd hurt him but because he feared she wouldn't let him touch her. Cautiously he rested his hand on hers. Giving it a squeeze with even more caution.
His eyes looked into hers. Eventually he pulled away and looked out to the horizon. "I'd imagine our beginnings are different but if we tell our tales we're bond to find the common ground."
Suddenly, a faint growl rippled through him. "I wish The Wind were not so fickle and unforgiving. I can't Dreamwalk with you." He rubbed his face and once again huffed. He didn't realize how long ago the beginning for him had been until he was sitting here trying to remember it all.
"It starts, for me..."
“Mama? You called?” Luca took a few deep breaths. Walking further into her tent and approaching her. “What’s wrong? What’s urgent?” Mama was quiet. Staring off into some deep void. She blinked at last and turned her attention to her son. “Where’s Luna?”
The heaviness of her voice didn’t go unfelt by Luca. It hit his chest and sat on his shoulders. He furrowed his brow. “uhm dad said he would get her.” He looked down at his watch. “But it might be too late. The trials start in a few minutes.”
Mama took a weighted breath and sat down. Again, lost to the void.
“What? What happened to Eli?!”
Mama shook her head. “He left with the coming sun. With all the people coming and going it was the perfect chance to get away. He took his wife with him.”
“... And my nephew?”
“He is with Lily now...”
They fell to silence once again. Mama rubbed her face before clicking her tongue. She opened her mouth to speak but changed her mind with a huff.
“Eli was... he held a lot of secrets. Did a lot of things The Wind would scorn others for... and now I fear all those expectations fall to you and Luna. But what I fear the most is you’ll lose The Wind by trying to fill in in places you shouldn’t be in the first place...”
She paused for a very long time. A clear distress in her face.
“...Maybe I should be the one to handle what’s in the dark. The Wind will be more understanding and lenient with me. Quicker and more willing to forgive me than you or your sister.”
It was Luca’s turn to be silent now.
Clenching his fists and jaw but holding his tongue. He let a sharp breath loose. “Mama, as a king it will be my responsibility to bear. But as your son... “ He moved closer to her and took her hands “...from the bottom of my heart I couldn’t let you do such a thing.”
She shook her head. It was clear where Luna got her stubbornness from but before she could speak, he cupped her face.
“Believe in me that believes in you!”
She couldn’t answer because right then a Luna-less Leander enter the tent. “I’m sorry my love she was already in the trial.” Mama smiled though it didn’t reach her eyes and kissed her son’s palm before standing with him. “We should be there to support her. We will make the announcement tonight after speaking with her too.”
The three of them joined the rest of Gypsies. Talking, laughing, and making their way to see Luna fight. Mama always hated seeing her children in these trials but now it was worse. Her first born girl was fighting in the male category. She was petrified but doing her best to be supportive. Luca saw it immediately never letting go of her hand.
And the cheer that left both Mama and Leander when Luna came out victorious was something to behold.
Riddled with Love.
But no one told Luna.
“So, he just left? Let everything fall to us!?” The growl the ripped from Luna was sure to be heard above the blaring music of the night.
“He had to! Or would you prefer he stay and die!”
No. I just wished he had prepared us for this...
Where’s Lily now?”
Mama shook her head. Calming down from Luna's expected outburst. Catching her breath. “She’s near the fire. She’s had Vano all day.”
“I’ll go give her break. I could use some time with my nephew.
And as for the shadows. Leave them to me...” And so, just like that. Before anyone else could say anything, she was gone.
Luca took a deep breath, breaking his concentration as he looked at Luna for a moment. He was silent. Thinking. Eventually he closed his eyes with a faint click of his tongue. “I don’t. I can’t remember what happened immediately after. I just remember running. With you. After you.”He shot a sharp breath from his nose. Opening his eyes to squint as he still struggled to remember.
In truth, how I got there.
The land of lost Kings and Queens was a forbidden place. It could only be fully traversed by a king or queen. Even then. It swallowed you whole to never spit you out. And if it did you weren’t the same. Luca had been running for so long that he had lost track of the sense of time. The sun was frying his brain. The humidity was sucking the air from his lungs.
“Why was I here?”
He stopped to look around.
“Where was here?”
He managed to take a step or two more before collapsing. Panting so hard it was more a weez. And so suddenly, as he thought he couldn’t go any further a shadow cast down on him.
It was all he heard from the shadow. Unable to see who it was with the sun at their back. Then she dropped to her knees too. Undoing her hair just to tie up Luca’s.
Luna. He watched as she smiled, fatigued. “we’ll do it together!”
Luca gave a stern head nod as they helped each other up. “Who were you chasing?”
I don’t fully know. They took Vano. Hurt Lily just to get him. Why did you chase me?”
“Because I couldn’t let you do this alone, again. Why did you run without anyone?”
“Because I couldn’t let this happen again and I’m always alone anyway.”
Luca fell silent. How could she think she was always alone? The thought plagued his mind for a moment before he set his pride to the side. Realizing she was. He frowned to himself, he had never fully come to terms with the fact that he never really knew his sister. Never really bothered to try and when she needed him to stand for her and have her back, he was nowhere to be found.
Yet, she was always there. For everyone. No matter what it was they’d done or hadn’t she was valiantly there ready to kick ass and take names or just listen if she had to. Honestly, she was ready for anything anyone needed when they needed her. Luca noticed. He always admired that about Luna but he never personalized it until this moment. And so, in this moment he felt great shame.
“Why are you so heavy now?
Now’s not the time to lose The Wind!!!”
Luca stopped his sister with a simple hug.
He stopped there. Breaking his own concentration again because he didn’t remember that moment between him and his twin until he had spoken it. He questioned himself on if that moment were true or if he just wished it had been. He stood up and rubbed his face. Huffing off the heaviness he felt. Coming to terms with the fact that that moment probably didn’t happen.
“My memory on its own. Without The Wind’s help is not what it used to be.” He sat back down next to his sister and twisted his mouth playing with his hair. “I’ll stop here for now. Gives you a chance to fill in my blanks and right my wrongs.”
“I’m sure we remember things very differently.”
At first, Luna couldn't help the guilt that washed over her as he mentioned not being able to dreamwalk with her. Honestly, there were so many things she missed about the wind. Dreamwaling was just one of the many. She dropped her head and clicked her tongue ever so faintly. If only Luca knew. She was silent the whole time he spoke. Occasionally, closing her eyes to try and recall what he spoke of. She scoffed at certain things she remembered very differently. Or frowned at the things she remembered exactly the same. It wasn't until she heard him recall the moment of his apology that something seized up inside of her. A very charred burnt anger she always seemed to swallow rising to the surface. She opened her mouth the burning embers of her unsaid words sitting at the tip of her tongue. But she inhaled instead and swallowed it all over again.
"You're beginning isn't even my end. And that's the problem. I'd already adjusted to the flames of hell by the time you descended and joined me in the fire."
She never looked at him. Just stared out at the distant fire flickering from their people. And then, without any further word, she got up and just left. In all of this, she'd realized one vital thing over everything else. She wasn't ready to talk. Not right this very second though she'd agreed. After hearing his story she changed her mind. Her social battery died and it was time for her to go. She stood up brushing the dust off of her as she headed towards her bike. Kickstarting it and leaving nothing but a hectic dusty wake. She avoided everyone back in the community which came with ease because the gypsies we're so distant from her. Though Mama had tried to talk but stopped herself realizing Spade was in no mood.
Luna was overwhelmed.
She wanted nothing more than to just have one day where no one feared her. No one talked to her even, because every conversation lead to the same path. She was grateful she had a carriage and not a tent at this moment. Meaning she could lock the door and hide from the world if for hardly just a second. She'd talk eventually, but she had to be ready herself. There were things Luca didn't know. Things she didn't want to share but if he wanted to talk those things would come to light and she just needed a few more moments in comfortable darkness.
Her reaction was far beyond what he expected. In fact, he was thoroughly prepared for her to attack him. He braced for that. Instead, he found himself sitting there dumbfounded. The dusty wake she beckoned into the air with her heavy steps attacking his face. He waved the billowing wake away. Standing just in time watch her bikes back wheel wildly kick a wave of sand in the air and ride off into the sunset. He stayed there a while. Staring out at nothing now as she was long gone along with the sun.
And so, he took a breath. She wasn't the Luna he knew. Which meant the rumors were true. A heavy weight sat like a rock in the pit of his stomach. And suddenly he found himself shockingly too heavy for The Wind. It wouldn't last. Whether they solved this or not. The Wind would return to him within a moments notice. But for now, he took the opportunity to walk back and enjoy this newfound heaviness. As best he could. He was trying to understand and see what it must be like for his sister. Get a sense of what burden she must live with daily. It took a few hours opposed to the seconds it would've had he invited the wind back. He took a deep breath. Everything was more taxing and laboring without The Wind. At least for someone so used to The Wind.
Walking was harder. Breathing was harder. Hell even thinking was harder. Everything was labored. Burdensome. He twisted his mouth and clicked his tongue. Gypsies were spoiled by The Wind for sure. And though not untouchable they surely had favor. In these moments entirely alone he felt his heartache for his twin. Unable to imagine having to live for so long as an outcast to what was essentially their God.
He flinched and jumped. Panted for a second in shock. He was back with their people now. He sat in front of the bonfire all night and now the sun was rising. Lost in such heavy thoughts that kept The Wind away. He loathed the tether that nailed him to the floor. Gravity was aggravating. Was this what it was like for Spade? Is this what kept her angry the dejection from The Wind? Is this what sealed her change from Luna to Spade? He could understand how this would make you a very different person. And this was stockpiled with a full house of the poor hand she'd been dealt in life.
He was irritable. Snapping at people for just asking if he was alright. The whispers started rather quickly from there. The Gypsies noticed his windlessness right away.
And they blamed Spade for it.
And he realized. Blaming Spade was simple. It was the easiest thing to do. To just ignore all things wrong with yourself and ignore all the bad things you did in the same situation Spade was involved in and just let her take the brunt of it. She was unbreakable. She was strong. She could take it. Luca made his way to his old carriage. His fingers dragging across the paintwork he and his siblings had done as children so so long ago. He frowned. Oh, how he missed them. He missed those days. His weary eyes dragged to the side and met his twins whose carriage had always been beside his and right then he saw her.
There was no Wind fogging his view. Or precursor clouding his mind and so he realized...
She was broken.
He just didn't know how she'd hid it so well. He looked away from her and crawled up the tiny ladder into his carriage. And after locking himself within slumped into his bed with a burdened breath. He could invite The Wind back whenever. But if this is what it took to understand his twin. And see her for who she is he would stay like this for while longer.
And so, he fell asleep windless for the first time.