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You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. Madeline had fought death and won more times than she cared to count, she had slipped through the Matron of the Banshee's clutches more than once and avoided belonging to the heirs of Count Dracula countless times. Only to end up here as the prisoner of Thistlemoon but she was not spotless in this fight for her life, she had dark regrets she hid from the world. One's she felt like stained her hands and no matter how much she washed and scrubbed them she alone could still feel it on her fingertips and pressing on the palms of her hands, but nothing was there anymore. Maybe that was why she loved to stay busy and work with her hands. Every night from her first night here in this room The Mapleshade would grab hold of her as she lay down and lull her off into a deep peaceful state of sleep but like clockwork right before dawn, she would wake. Unable to fall asleep again because her body was still used to waking this early to start her work so she did not have to work too late.
I sighed softly as I failed again to return to sleep and draped my arms over my eyes after aimlessly staring up at the ceiling for so long. Yet I immediately regretted it because whenever I closed my eyes all I saw was Kyan float out the door to this room leaving me here alone. I do not know why my hopes seemed so dashed suddenly I did not even know my hopes had risen until I felt this knot form in my chest every time I closed my eyes and saw that memory. I sat up and groaned faintly in frustration that I could not fall back to sleep instead. Rubbing my eyes while I tried to sort out if it was him I missed or if it was just that he was the last person I spent any sort of quality time with and was missing that. A feeling I would not be able to figure out unless I spent more time with Kyan, which after all this time alone I doubted would happen. I was out of bed before the sun could rise and stretched, laying in bed was not doing me good.
Even though Madeline had told Kyan she could leave her bag behind she was grateful to have it now because it meant she could change. She did not have to sleep in the white dress Kyan had given her but she also was not fond of the idea of someone walking in on her while in her PJs. She did not want someone to see her in this oversized t-shirt that covered her shorts completely so she took the time to change back into that white dress every day even when she was inevitably left all alone. At first, Doelynn would sneak in and spend a short time with her before she was found by Gwainar and dragged out but that slowly came to a stop probably due to the king's mother and not Madeline continuously asking Doelynn to not risk getting in trouble for her and reassuring her she was okay. Lily and the guards stationed at her door were the only others she saw on a day to day basis. Yet none of them spoke to her despite Madeline trying, Lily only came to bring her food but never spoke a word or acknowledged Madeline when she always gave her thanks. While the guards just stood there like statues moulded to the doorframe.
It would be a while before breakfast was brought and I was diligent in drinking the wine that came with the food remembering Kyan's warning that I would hallucinate otherwise. Yet I wondered if I could get drunk if I drank too much, was there some delicate balance I needed to be aware of between too little and too much? I was not foolish enough to test that. I thumbed through the random book I found at the bottom of my bag while checking to make sure I did not have anything that was iron within, which I did not, but I had read this book twenty four times already while caged in this room so it no longer held my attention. Finally, the Sun came and the rising rays trickled through a sun catcher I had the pieces for scattered in my bag and put together while there was nothing else to do here. Colours gently danced around the space and I gradually made my way to the small balcony in the room. I dare not go near the edge alone, I was too nervous seeing how high I was but furthermore, if I saw Thistle while locked away in this state of mind I'd fall for the temptation of trying to adventure through the forest. So I sat against the Mapleshade and listened, slowly letting my eyes close as I listened for one thing in particular. It was distant but every morning when the forest was rising and coming to life the sound of a reed flute echoed in the background and floated through the air. The music became a staple in my morning routine and as the sun warmed my skin I slowly began to drift back to sleep. My thoughts suddenly made less sense the deeper I fell; I heard the knock but could not make sense of it through the fog of rest rising. Then came the sound of my name which sounded even less real than the knock, until I heard my name again much clearer and demanding this time. I open my eyes with a sharp inhale before leaning to peek through the balcony door to confirm this was real and not a dream, but I should have known better, I do not dream on my own. I rise and walk towards him as an amiable smile brightens my features and warms the gaze I am giving him. "Good mor-" I stop to clear my throat from lack of use "Good morning your Majesty." I stop just out of arms reach. "I apologize for not replying sooner I fell asleep on the balcony without realizing I had."
His eyes, the moment they met hers captured her undivided attention as the colour difference was quite vivid. Madeline did not know his eyes could do that, but the enchanting colour mesmerized her even more than his natural eyes did. She was staring at and admiring them and she did not mean to or realise she was. It was not until his eyes scanned her that she caught herself, wanting to lean and continue to gaze at the new hue in his eyes, but she remained upright and let him scan her. Except by the time he looked back up she was not looking anymore as he spoke. "I tried." she let a soft sad smile grace her face "I really did but..." she scanned and watched the fae rush in and all around to set up the table and food and even though she was quiet her silence was loud. Here she was again in yet another world that moved around her like she did not exist and the moment she stepped foot out of this room she was drowned in the whispers about herself.
"Thank you" I am sure to say to the other fae as I always do before they leave, despite knowing they would not acknowledge me. I opened my mouth again to further explain why I hid in the room but Kyan spoke first. My head tilted faintly at his words and my mind ran away with what we would be doing to make the day long, but I did not question him. I just closed my mouth, swallowed my words and followed him to the balcony. I took a sip of wine as we sat and ate, not struggling to eat like the last time we shared a table. Again I wondered about the wine and if there were some weird balance of drinking too much or too little I needed to be aware of. I could feel his eyes on me and even though I wanted to study the green shade they were right now I decided against it and just focused on the array of foods between us until a kaleidoscope of colours danced into my eyes.
The sun hit his crystal chalice as he set it on the table and bounced right into Madeline's eyes and when he leaned back she leaned forward like they had been tethered together by some invisible string. Rather than squint in pain or blink at the sudden light in her eyes she looked right at it unphased. Following the way the sun's rays caused the colours to flow with a warmth in her watch before at last looking at Kyan. She loosed a soft and breathy chuckle when his question was asked because of course she was mid chew at the time and could not answer immediately. She washed the food down gently with another sip of wine. "My thoughts?" she repeated and let her gaze drift away as she thought. Could she trust him with the fact that her mind was far more cynical than one would expect or that she let on? "I have not seen Doelynn in a little while..." she started in reverse as his sister was an easier topic. "But when she would visit she would show me her progress with the new ability she is learning and I would tell her the old folk tales of my hometown."
There was a natural smile my lips held when speaking of Doelynn I could not hide or help. One that faded fast when it came time to speak of my thoughts. Could I? Should I? Many would and had weaponized anything I shared against me, so I just did not know if I could trust Kyan with that. Then I felt a familiar feeling I grew fond of beckoning to me and pulling at my soul until I replied and complied with its wants. The Mapleshade, its bark was right to my left as we sat on the balcony, dragging me to it like a magnet. I had to close my eyes and breath through this powerful sensation but eventually, I found myself pressing the palm of my hand against the tree's bark. Opening up for whatever The Mapleshade wanted of me because I was not powerful enough to fight it. I remained like this for as long as the tree held me here and I did not resist; Opening my eyes when the powerful surge of energy running through me lessened and I felt like I could move again.
Her hand lingered on The Mapleshade a moment longer as she now looked at the part of the tree closest to her. Slowly pulling her hand away but letting her fingers trace along the rugged lines in the wood lovingly before returning her attention to Kyan. "I never got the chance to thank you for the room" She took a moment to catch her breath as her hand fully detached from the tree. "It is much nicer than what I am used to and far bigger than some of the homes I have lived in." Although he had her attention she was not looking at him, instead she looked out at Thistle. "I hear what they say, your people, even from inside the room and I know the choice you made to keep me here is not a popular one with them. So I thank you but if the day comes when you have to choose to throw me in the stockades or down in the dark caves of Blackstone Mountain I will accept and understand." She fell silent a moment as she looked at him.
"That is a taste of what my thoughts are like. Darker than what I show the world because I know how this world works and it sure as hell has enough darkness without having to worry about the weight of mine." I huffed and intertwined my fingers before placing my hands on the table. "Some days my thoughts are mischievous, urging me to go and explore the beauties of Thistle but I probably would not even make it passed your guards." I chuckle to myself faintly. "Other days... Most days actually my thoughts suffocate me." I tilted my head back and let out a heavy huff "The Mapleshade said to trust you." I shrug unable to hide my nerves as I look at him again. "My thoughts are rarely kind to me." I shrug again looking back to my cup of wine and take a soft bite of the piece of cheese on my plate. "Can I get drunk if I drink too much?" I finally ask as I lift the cup a tap it with my forefinger but also I am trying and change the subject as I take a small sip.
A soft faintly noticeable chuckle breathed out passed Madeline's lips as she smiled to herself just as faintly. The siblingly quarrel between these two was quite endearing and a small comfort to witness. "Mmm yes, but then she started using the windows when I would close the balcony door because and I quote "Anything can be a door if you try hard enough." That is a smart "meddlesome creature" you have on your hands.” Her soft and lighthearted words were shattered with the moment as his abrupt and aggressive movements registered faster than the sound of his chair flying back and her cup cowping and clattering across the raw wood. What did she do? Was all she could think as she braved the storm in his eyes with caution and fear swelling within her own. Immediately drenched by the weight of the unknown emotions cyclon-ing within his gaze. Her eyes faintly flick from each of his as she tries to decipher what she sees, what he is suddenly showing her only to flinch as his lightning-like demand strikes. Her body stiffens and her rigid muscles remain taught as she struggles through her own emotions to do what is commanded of her. Her chest heaved up and down as she looked at him with a bewildered expression. Her harsh breathing fills the fearful silence emanating from her as she tries to focus enough to answer him properly. “Warmth.” The answer jolts from her lips with a full force of trepidation lodged in her voice. Remaining still she unexpectedly eased and prominently shivered in response to his unanticipated heat as he interlocked their fingers and whispered his repeated words in her ear.
The unfamiliar feeling of having him so close and pressing me into the tree stole all of my focus. My head was spinning and filled with frantic thoughts and muddled questions I could not ask with how dry my throat had gone. Suddenly it grabbed me, the Mapleshade, as it always did when it wanted my attention and I had no power to deny or fight it even if I wanted to. I tore my head away from Kyan, and faced the tree as my eyes shut, soon that warmth I admitted to feeling reeled me in deeper. “It always starts with warmth but the longer I stay with that the more I feel…” Giving it my undivided attention now I could feel a subtle rhythm thrum against my fingertips. “...I feel ... a heartbeat.” But it did not stop there as a very familiar and loving feeling rapidly filled me. “It is my… the fire flower! I feel the flower I returned.” I smiled because although Kyan had told me the flower was reconnected to the forest, feeling it and its link to the Mapleshade brought his words to life. The feeling reminded me of when he forced his power through my hand into the earth the day we met and it was that memory that led to what the Mapleshade showed me next. “I…” I shifted against him and the tree and cleared my throat. “I feel the devastation I caused to Thistlemoon when the flower was stolen, almost as if I followed the roots to find the affected areas.” I took a heavy breath as the feelings washing over me grew even heavier and my regrets for what was done worsened.
Again the tree took her deeper and for a moment she could not describe the sensation of what was coursing through her. Until she jumped as though something had launched at her but she was trapped between Kyan and the tree so she did not move at all. Suddenly she was panting with her eyes glued to the bark of the tree and her hair standing on edge. She did not know the history of what Sekhmet and the Templars had done but “Pain… Humans and Eternals caused you all so much pain.” She struggled to swallow past her dry throat and the lump forming in it. Madeline was silent again outside of her heavy breathing as the thoughts and vague understanding of how he and everyone here must have hated the two species that made her. Unfortunately for her, it did not stop there as the tree grabbed her again and she just took it with a stifled groan lodged in her chest as her eyes reclosed. The tree was piloting a boat and she was being dragged behind it, getting caught in its wake without a way to get a good breath in but for some reason, she just took it realizing maybe this was needed. Much like any other living thing needed to get its frustration out but she could not express what she was feeling as it was still just that heavy pain from the war with the Templars. When it stopped and eased she released a loud moan she did not care the king heard as she panted once again. “Kyan…” a soft whine cut off her words as she decided against continuing what she was going to say while her delicate hand rested on top of his that gripped her waist. Madeline gently ran her thumb over the back of his hand without realizing it; subconsciously asking if he could be gentle too.
This was a lot, and though, what I was feeling had eased I think I was just overwhelmed and stimulated by everything. However, I held my tongue as I did not want to offend Kyan and the Mapleshade but the Mapleshade seemed to notice I needed some comfort or care as it washed a warm draft over me. Another moan much fainter than the first fled through my closed lips and I could finally catch my breath. I opened my eyes when it dawned on me just how close Kyan was and our thin layers of clothing hid absolutely nothing. The heat radiating off him and spreading across my skin, mixed with the warmth coming from the Mapleshade naturally caused me to finally relax enough for my muscles to almost fully unstiffen. “A calming wave. A tender push towards doing something brave. A warm hug. It is a different feeling every time with the Mapleshade but it always feels like a loving parent welcoming me back into its accepting arms… but that can not be.” My last few words are to myself as I press my head against the bark before me, finally catching my breath as a tide of reassurance, once again from the Mapleshade, ripples over me. “Yet every time I think that the Mapleshade comes to tell me my thoughts are wrong… and that is what I feel now.” I lift my forehead off the bark and cautiously glance over my shoulder to look into his eyes again, nervous about what I might see brewing in his gaze now.
An unmanageable thrill waved through her body the moment he let her go and his heat fell away from her. A sign that her body in the short span of time welcomed sharing the space and body heat with him and was not happy with the sudden separation. Madeline did not like how she responded and refused to glance at him again while he was still so close and stayed against the Mapleshade a second longer once Kyan managed to peel himself away. She spun to face him but again could not look at him or fully focus on anything but her heart. Instinctively she took whatever Kyan handed her, only registering it was a drink, which she needed but did not drink, a second later. Shame, she wore it like a heavy winter coat too large for her small frame. It was all he would have seen with quite a few other emotions minorly mixed in as she processed everything she had just felt.
I hated that my heart was the master of me and motivated me into my most difficult situations. It ached in my chest at this moment, sat heavy in my gut, and grabbed my tongue rendering me silent. At any other moment I would have expressed my relief in hearing Kyan confirm that he felt what I did. Allowing me to find some sort of sanity and comfort in finally not being alone and even his words that followed should have given me great pride to know I was so favored. Instead, while pride, honour, and relief were present in my heart so were confusion and unworthiness. I was a leech sucking the life out of the fire flower even when I desperately tried not to and now it seemed that so much of its power coursed through my veins the Mapleshade was confused. That was the only thing that made sense at this moment because why would it be fond of an Eternal and Human after what they had done here? I understood now, why he said he hated humans and why the Fae hated me. Every day humans made it harder to defend them and every day I questioned why after all they had done I still stuck up for them… then of course my heart grew heavier and forced my eyes to clasp at that thought, as a reminder that the few good humans were worth keeping faith in.
Madeline loosed a sharp breath that finally lifted her chin but she still could not bring herself to look him in the eyes. She felt the need to apologize on behalf of the Eternals and Humans, if it was even her place to do that but she knew there was probably no one else that would. However, she hesitated causing her bottom lip to quiver as she fought to hold her tongue and within that split second of hesitation Kyan stalked closer and all he had said and was saying, completely registered making her swallow her words. Madeline did not flinch or shy away from the king as her sharp gaze at last pierced his and some part of her deeply buried as of now wanted for him to reach out and touch her again. She held her ground and put on a strong front as he spoke but her bravery was feigned when truly, she was terrified. There was a copious amount she did not know about the Fae as recluse as they were and her aquamarine eyes keenly searched Kyan's, excavating the back of his gaze for a lie. Until leaving her standing there numb, alone, and unaware of what to do. She was already overwhelmed and overstimulated but now she was also panicked because if he was telling the truth he would soon be the third person to know of her grim fate; a secret she had been harbouring for a short while but ate at her more each day.
Why? Why did his learning what happens to me bother me so much? Was I that scarred from all the people who would rejoice at and wanted my death, that I now feared he would do the same? Pushing me ever closer to the one thing I have managed to fight and win against countless times. I could not trust anyone so I carried this alone and felt myself clinging to it even now as my mind thought of all the possible ways to escape and hoard this truth from the light. Something I had to immediately shoot down as I gave my word that I would not try and run…I found myself then sitting at the edge of my bed not even recalling when I had moved from the balcony and still clutching to the now empty glass in my hands. This forced me to try and recall when I had tossed the drink back that was not at all enough to help me feel better. With a quick disposition, I set the glass on the bedside table before I could shatter it with my tight grip. I wanted to entertain the thought that maybe my future had changed by coming here but with my little experience trying to shape one's fate I could not convince myself to believe that fate or destiny could be changed. Once your path was set that was it; that is what I learned through countless heartbreaks. I could hear the door open and I hung my head allowing my dark hair to hide me for just one moment as I closed my eyes and huffed in acceptance. I pushed myself off the bed and once again met his ever changing eyes with mine but my legs did not move as they grew heavy and felt like lead pining me to this spot. Would I see it with him? I did not want to go through that trauma again but my heart for some reason did not want to fight him. After all that panic and turmoil I had to accept that this was part of my fate too.
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